Cordialamente

News today. I will be leaving Herat next week for a new assignment in Kabul with Gender Justice, which is kind of like a division in the company that works on women’s rights. I think it will be a good fit.

But, oh! How I will miss my whole team – Julie and Will and my little guys and my one girl! I can barely think of the day that is coming when their bright smiles and welcoming attitudes will not be the first thing I encounter at work. I will miss our team’s eating breakfast together, laughing as I douse Hasat’s French toast with syrup because he thought syrup went only on pancakes. I will miss Abdul’s calling me “ma’am,” even though I thought it should have made me feel old. I will miss Sadiq’s calm demeanor and brilliant smile, although he doesn’t smile very often. As an aside, I asked Esman why none of them smiles for photos, and he said he thought it is probably because they are all so serious – and who wouldn’t be, as growing up in a war zone probably takes away most of the innocence and joy of youth.

I will miss them all, but of course, as I spend six hours a day with Esman and Hasat, I will miss them the most. They have made my days pleasant, even fun, and they have made my stay pretty close to wonderful. They are both kind and pleasant, capable and smart, friendly and caring, and hopeful. And they have taught me so much, as I believe I have shared much with them.

I will meet new people where I am going, and I will reconnect with those I met previously, but I tell you that a small hole will remain in my heart for some time as I get used to a day at work that does not start with their cheery “Good morning!”

They told me that they would stay in touch, and that they have wanted to stay in touch with many Americans they have worked with, but that they drift away – and of course, sometimes, that’s what life does. It interferes with the people we want to keep dear. Work becomes overwhelming, children demand, the house needs to be cleaned, there isn’t enough time in the day, and somehow a year has passed and we haven’t kept in touch as we would like. But in me, they will have a willing pen pal, and someone to count on if necessary.

These young men have been unexpected and extraordinary bright spots in my life when I really needed them, and knowing that I will leave them the next day I see them pretty much breaks my heart. I had a hard time leaving home, leaving Max, leaving Emily, leaving my friends and the rest of my family, but I refused to let myself break down and bawl, because I think I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to stop. Now, however, I am allowing myself some of those tears as I move on to whatever follows, knowing that I have already met people who have had an impact on my life, and knowing that I must leave them behind, hoping against hope that our lives will stay connected nonetheless.