Aunt Alma's Birthday

Last Saturday night, Max and I drove to Kansas City to share my aunt's 80th birthday with her. My sister was there, as were my cousins Kelly and Kym with their husbands, Chad and Cougar respectively. Kelly's babies Amelia and Evelyn kept us entertained. My cousin John, whom I have not seen in some time, drove in from Oklahoma, and my cousin Derek, who I kept calling "Garrett" was also there for a short time. My cousin Patty and her husband Carl were the benefactors of the evening, and though some family members could not be there, I think I can safely say that "a good time was had by all."

I reflected on not only the evening, but also the lifetime that we have shared, sometimes in fits and starts, sometimes for years at a time, but always having each other within arm's length or a phone call away. We have not always been close - our lives have changed too much over the years - but we have generally always been happy to see each other.

For instance, I am sad that I missed Kelly and Chad's wedding now some ten or eleven years ago - maybe more. I was too lazy to drive from Sedalia to Lawrence, and I don't think Max could go for some reason. Now, all these years later, I regret not having made the trip and having fun when "the two became one," because as Kelly has grown up - she was only 19 at the time - she and I have gotten along famously. She is cute and funny and loves to laugh. Her husband is an artist and teacher, and he cares beautifully for their two little girls. I feel lucky that she doesn't hold it against me that I missed what was one of the most important days in her life, and that I can share with her other, not so important days - not important except that we see each other.

During those years, I didn't keep in touch with my family very well. We have our share of skeletons and ugly stories, and I didn't want to be connected with those; as a result, I have missed out on some good times and was not available to lend a hand during some times that were tough. As I am now older, and, I hope, wiser, I see that keeping some kind of continuty is important, if for no other reason, than to realize that these people in my family are threads that I don't want to break. As we become older and more scattered, though, and as life does to our family what life does to all, it takes more time, more effort, and more money to try to connect and to stay connected. I want to see these as simply challenges rather than insurmountable obstacles.

For instance, after spending time with Amelia and Evelyn, I really would like to see them grow up. I hope Kelly will send us school pictures and even some art they create or stories they tell. I hope that we will be able to resume our Easter tradition of meeting somewhere in the middle and having some kind of reunion where we all sit around and drink wine or Jameson's and laugh about the things that we did, or the things that someone is doing. I hope that when Kym and Cougar have children - assuming they will have children - we can be a part of that as well. I hope that when Emily gets married - assuming she will get married - they will all be there. I hope that the time, distance, and conflicts that have separated us in the past will stay in the past, and that we will be able to continue the relationship we have now, seeing each other on occasion and enjoying each other's company as we catch up on each other's lives.

Yes. A good time was had by all.